Umgawa

There is a war that rages in my intestines every day. Let me clarify. Since I began taking synthroid a war rages deep inside me. The pharmacist insisted it takes 3 to 6 weeks for my body to adjust to this new medicine. The pharmacist lied. It has been five weeks and my body has not complied and in fact the war that rages deep inside has become louder and more violent.

But yesterday during the battle that rages deep inside a word was uttered, “umgawa”. You know that word that Tarzan always used when letting an elephant know he wanted to jump off. My intestines screamed “umgawa”. People in the office stopped what they were doing and looked at each other. “Umgawa” someone repeated, “isn’t that the word that Tarzan says?”

I lowered my head and pounded my stomach. My inner voice screaming at the warriors deep inside to shut the fuck up but they had the upper hand; and I went running to the restroom.